Tick tock, tick tock... waiting and waiting.... still waiting. I know life is short and I don't want to miss out on life, but I can't help being SO eager for February to be here when I can hopefully start my IVF journey.
Do you have any kids? Oh no, well must be nice to focus on yourself and have all that free time.
How many kids do you have? Do you not want them? They sure are a blessing.
Do you also have children? Oh, well you still have plenty of time.
Are you and Dusty going to start trying any time soon? Soak up all this time now.
Those are only a tiny bit of the questions that I get approached with almost on a weekly basis. No one knows how hard it is to be in those shoes until you have been there. Or they have no idea how much of a failure you feel like for it not just happening oh so easy for you. Like so many people who are fortunate enough to say "let's have a baby" and a month later jumping for joy that they are pregnant.
I really don't like being baby obsessed or making my family friends feel like that is all I focus on. But I just don't know how to not focus on it when it is occurring ALL around me. I open facebook, BAM. I talk to vendors at lunch, BAM. I watch tv, BAM. I sit on bart, pregnant people everywhere.
How do I do this? How am I not supposed to be so angry at God for blessing others while I feel cursed?
Please don't judge me as I try to work through all of this. I am in a process and hope to find a way to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on my destination. I feel like this is a constant lesson in life regardless of the topic.
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